50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do
by bedazzling
Summary: A series of one shots based on Maraduers-And-Lily-I-Love's story of the same title.


**A/N: **Wow, my first story in years, haha. I asked the author, Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love, of the story '50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do' (go read her story first!) if I could write some one-shots based on her story, and she said I could, so, here it is. More one-shots based on that will be coming soon, hopefully! I'm sorry that the formatting is a bit screwed up, I had trouble uploading it to the site and when it finally did upload, it screwed up the formatting. I tried my best to fix it though.

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_Number 8: 'Accidentally' turn Petunia into a horse when he is invited to Lily's house at Christmas._

"James, this is my mum, my dad, and my sister, Petunia."

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans," James said, shaking Lily's parents' hands. When he stuck his hand out for Petunia, she sneered at him.

"I'm not shaking _his_ hand." She said as she crossed her arms. James retracted his hand and ran it nervously through his hair.

"But Tuney—"

"NO!" Petunia shouted, "I am not shaking his hand! He's a _freak_!" She turned and stomped up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door.

"I don't think your sister likes me very much." James told Lily with a frown.

"Don't worry," Lily wrapped her arms around James' neck and kissed his nose. "Tuney won't bother you over the break."

~*~*~

"Oh, don't worry, Tuney won't bother you," James muttered in a mocking voice. "Oh, Lily, if only you knew how wrong you were." It was only Tuesday but James wanted to hex Petunia into the next decade already. Unfortunately, Lily wouldn't let him. Petunia took every moment possible to call James a freak, even waiting right outside the door while he used the bathroom. She'd make fun of him when he didn't know how to work something as simple as a television, and at dinner, she'd say things like, "hey fr—I mean, _James_, would you pass the salt?" and when he did, she'd mumble "thanks, freak" under her breath. James sighed and stared at the ceiling. It was late and everyone else in the house had fallen asleep long ago.

"James?" A soft voice came from the doorway of the guest room, he turned to see Lily's silhouette standing there. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he whispered, sitting up slightly. "are you okay, Lily?" She came in and sat at the foot of the bed, nodding slowly.

"I'm just having trouble sleeping. But I could ask you the same, are _you_ okay? You seem off lately."

"I'm tired of your sister calling me a freak." He sat up next to Lily and rubbed her back softly. Lily rested her head on his shoulder.

"Petunia is just...difficult. You've never been hurt by anyone's insults before, James, why is Petunia any different?" James sighed.

"I don't know. I've never been called a freak because of the fact that I'm a wizard before. I've never thought I was weird for having magical powers."

"You're not a freak. Most Muggles that know about the wizarding world are very accepting of us. I've talked to tons of Muggle-born students at Hogwarts and all of them have said that their parents are proud of them. Petunia, I think, is just jealous." James looked down at Lily, who had moved to lay with her head in his lap while she was talking, and grinned.

"You always know how to make me feel better. I love you, Lily-pad." Lily smiled at the nickname that she used to hate. She loved it now. He leaned down to kiss her, but they were interrupted but a loud gasp from the doorway. They both looked up to see Petunia gaping at them.

"Lily!" She shouted shrilly. "What are you doing?"

"I had a nightmare, James is comforting me."

"You're in bed with that–that–freak! I'm telling Mum and Dad in the morning!" Petunia once again stomped off and slammed her bedroom door.

"You don't seem too worried." James observed. Lily shrugged.

"They'll listen to both sides of the story before judging, and they'll most likely believe me over her." Lily explained, then yawned. "Well," she said, leaning over to kiss James, "goodnight."

"'Night, Lily."

~*~*~

Lily awoke to her mother screaming loudly. She jumped out of bed and ran out of her room as quickly as possible and saw her mother and father standing in the doorway of Petunia's bedroom, James had run out of the guest room too, his wand ready.

"James, put that away," she said softly. James shoved the wand into his pocket. "Mum, dad, what's–" she stopped when she noticed that there was a horse and an apple with a bite in it in Petunia's bedroom. Lily knew immediately that it was Petunia. She glared at James. "You didn't."

"I didn't, I swear! I didn't know the apple was charmed. I thought I'd give it to her in hopes that she'd be more accepting of me!" James exclaimed, although he was having trouble hiding his mischievous grin. Lily's eyes darkened. She knew he was lying, but she wasn't going to argue about it in front of her parents.

"My wand is in my room. Change her back." James went to pull out his wand but hesitated. "NOW!" Lily demanded. James waved his wand, muttering something indistinguishable and Petunia became a human again.

"Oh, Petunia!" Her mother cried, running in to hug her. James turned and headed back to the guest room. Lily followed and found him packing his things.

"Fleeing the scene of the crime, Mr. Potter?" She grinned. He nodded as he packed the last of his bags and set them on the bed.

"It'll be awkward if I stay. Your parents know I'm the one that did it, I'm sure they hate me now. I'm going to spend the rest of the holiday at Hogwarts." He kissed her. "I want to be gone before your parents decide they want to talk to me. I'll send you an owl when I get there." He grabbed his bags and apparated out of the room.

~*~*~

Later that night, while Lily was laying in her bed reading, an owl came through the open window, dropped a letter on the bed and flew away quickly. Lily recognized the handwriting as James' and opened it.

_Dear Lily,_

_I've made it back to Hogwarts safely. Peter is the only Seventh Year in Gryffindor that didn't go home. We had a snowball fight on the grounds earlier but we had to stop after I hit him in the face twice. I gave him a black eye. We also ran through the halls singing Christmas carols but Professor McGonagall threatened to give us detention. We may sneak into Hogsmeade tonight and get some butterbeer. _

_Tell your mum and dad that I'm sorry I turned your sister into a horse and that I hope they can forgive me. _

_I miss you and wish you were here. Peter is not much fun, and he complains a lot. I may have to 'accidentally' hit him with another snowball if he doesn't shut up._

_Love,  
James_

James was eating with Peter in the Great Hall the next day when an owl dropped a letter for him. It landed in his potatoes.

"Aww, right in the potatoes. Poor potatoes." Peter said sadly. James rolled his eyes at him and turned his attention to the letter.

_Dear James,_

_Please don't throw snowballs at poor Peter, you know he's not as tough as Sirius or Remus. Be nice._

_I wish I were there too. My house has gone mad since you left. Petunia keeps crying about how awful it was to be a horse and my mum and dad are spoiling her. They took us to to the zoo yesterday and she got every thing she asked for. I've mostly stayed in my room reading, but I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts._

_Have fun with your butterbeer, drink one for me. _

_Love,  
Lily._

_P.S. I've talked to my parents about you. They told me they never want you in this house again._

James sighed and put the letter down.

"Well, Pete, my old friend, it looks like I've been banned from Lily's house." James was a bit angry, although he wasn't about to tell Peter that. He needed some way to take out his anger. "hey, want to go play in the snow?"

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**A/N: Hmm, maybe not my best work, but then again it's the first fic I've written in quite a while. I like it, though. Let me know what you think!**


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